Book Review: Heads Up - Increase your sexual confidence and get the real low down on oral sex

Title: Heads Up - Increase your sexual confidence, expand your sexual repertoire, and get the real low down on oral sex (Link for purchase: https://www.headsupbook.com/)

Authors: Dr. Teesha Morgan & Constance Lynn Hummel, MA

Year Published: 2016

Main Topics Covered: Sex, Oral Sex, Foreplay, Fellatio, Sex Positions, Confidence, Tips & Tricks, Therapeutic Tools, Communication, Self-Discovery/Reflection

Written for: Individuals wanting to learn techniques regarding oral sex, as well as explore the therapeutic or psychological side of things, and how that relates to giving or receiving fellatio (e.g. emotional blockers, communication barriers, trauma etc).

Recommended for: Women, Gay or Bisexual Men, Couples

Perspectives Taken: Sex Positive, Playful, Therapeutic

Type of Resource: A General Guide/ How to Manual

APA Citation:

Morgan, T., & Hummel, C. L. (2016). Heads up: Increase your sexual confidence, expand your sexual repertoire, and get the real low down on oral sex. Createspace Independent Publishing Platform.

Book Overview:

The authors of this book dive right into the nitty-gritty of oral sex. With a playful and cheeky attitude, this book serves as a guide for anyone looking to wrap their “head” around the art of the blowjob. It takes the reader through the beginnings of foreplay, the act itself, and then addresses some common sexual misconceptions, questions and concerns. It also includes two bonus chapters on penis anatomy and sexual safety. It is an easy read, and accessible to anyone with an interest in penises and playing with them. Though illustrations are heteronormative, the authors right with inclusivity for all genders and sexual orientations.

The first few chapters aim to get the reader familiar with oral sex, what it is, its origins, and how fun it can be. For those with questions, those who are skeptical, or those who are anxious about oral sex, these chapters work well to ease concerns. The authors use a light and playful attitude throughout the book to get readers blushing and laughing about such things as the vast number of terms that can be used for “polishing the knob.” The introductory chapters therefore may dismantle some of the reader's shyness around the topic. They also highlight that this book may not be best for the more reserved friends, family, or clients in your life.

Throughout the chapters, the authors discuss everything from setting the mood with different smells that have been scientifically proven to increase penile blood flow, to shifting the focus from a narrative that is “giving centric”, to one that is “receiving centric”, which aims to challenge one's perspective for an all-around more enthusiastic and pleasurable giving experience; showing the reader that oral sex can be fun for those who chose to perform it as well.

In chapters 7-10, the book expands on advanced tips and techniques by giving the reader positions to explore with their partner, like the “Submissive Suzie”. The authors provide further tips the reader can use ranging from simple, like using your vocal cords/voice, to more elaborate, such as the “turkey baster”, or using a strap on tongue vibrator. These chapters are fun, light, and likely revested by the reader. The authors invite an explorative attitude from the reader in order to keep an open mind and find out what may be pleasurable for them and their partner.

The remaining chapters center around common misbeliefs, confusions, and stressors for individuals and couples regarding oral sex, and sex in general. The authors start by calling “Bullshit” on some common thoughts or beliefs around the BJ, they answer some common FAQs surrounding it, and then provide some research around sexual satisfaction and what it means to “keep up with the Joneses.” These chapters help address some of the common anxieties and blockers many individuals may have around oral sex. There is also a therapeutic section focused solely on what to do if one still feels some physical or emotional barriers towards giving oral sex, and how seeking therapy for things such as trauma-induced avoidance, may be important to explore. These sections help normalize one's thoughts and feelings as well as provide guidance on the next steps if someone is still struggling with giving oral sex.

The book ends with two bonus appendices giving very practical knowledge around the anatomy of the penis and sexual safety. For those who need a refresher of biology class, STI’s, or sex ed., these chapters are a simple, straightforward resource for you.

This quick, easy read lays out practical info and advice and is sure to answer any questions the reader has about giving head. The book keeps you laughing and intrigued. Whether the reader tries out all the advanced tips and tricks inside, they will, at the bare minimum, come out with a greater understanding and confidence around sex and sexuality.

About the Authors:

Dr. Teesha Morgan is a practicing Sex Therapist and Couples Counsellor known for her work as a TEDx speaker and media personality. She is currently one of the few Sex Therapists and Clinical Sexologists in Canada, and an adjunct professional at Adler University. Dr. Morgan is also the co-founder of The Westland Academy of Clinical Sex Therapy.

Constance Lynn Hummel is a psychotherapist specializing in relationships, sex therapy, and addictions. On top of her clinical practice, she is a leadership coach, clinical supervisor and speaker, as well as the co-founder of The Westland Academy of Clinical Sex Therapy